He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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