I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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