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I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
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