I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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