Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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