I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize