I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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