You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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