I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize