i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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