Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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