There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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