Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize