On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize