A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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