That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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