hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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