you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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