that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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