Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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