you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
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I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
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Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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