Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I am naked and annoyed.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize