Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize