You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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