so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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