He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize