My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize