I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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