there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize