Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
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