Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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