He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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