Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize