Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize