That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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