Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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