Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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