I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize