Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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