Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize