He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
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Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
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I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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