I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
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my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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