i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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