she looked like the before picture.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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