At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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