I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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