Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
if only i could text you this smell
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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