He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
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I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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