You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
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At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
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when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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