Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize